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| Jack "The Motorcycle Blogging God" Riepe |
Most of you probably know who Jack Riepe of the
Twisted Roads motorcycle blog is. For the twelve of you who don't, Jack is the self proclaimed and much disputed god of motorcycle blogging. His blog sets new standards for creative use of the word f*ck, gratuitous sexist comments and endless rants about how women have taken advantage of him. When he can tear himself away from writing such schlock he actually produces some of the best motorcycle writing out there. The kind of stuff that is right up there with Peter Egan and Gene McCalmont. Of course, when he isn't riding his BMW K75 (Fireballs) or writing about riding it he is some sort of professional writer (feminine product jingles I think) which gives him a serious advantage over us amateurs. It is really hard to compare yourself to a man who carries as much weight as the legendary Jack Riepe. He is the heavyweight of motorcycle blogging and after much begging and groveling he has actually read and commented on my humble little corner of blogosphere. More than once, even!
In fact a couple of weeks ago I posted a quick review of the Rockers vs. Mods event here in Houston and Jack commented. He said I made it sound like a square dance and that it lacked the edge and violence such an event must surely entail, after all, he has seen Quadrophenia 437 times and he knows about such things. He also said that it lacked sex appeal; something he thinks he knows a lot about. The women I have queried dispute that.
By the way, given the way he accessorizes that poor BMW with all sorts of farkle, I think he may have been a scooter riding Mod in his youth but that is a different rant.
So, what does any of this have to do with the
Texas Nationals Motorcycle Rally?
Well, after reading his comments I started looking around for events that would provide some of the edginess, danger and sexuality that might impress the man, the legend, The Motorcycle Blogging God and TMNR seemed a pretty good bet to provide just that. I mean how can a rally that features top fuel drag bikes burning up the quarter mile and hitting speeds of over 200 mph not meet the criteria?
The Racing:
As you might imagine there are different classes to accommodate everyone from the "run what you brung" street legal guys all the way up to the ground pounding top fuel bikes. I like watching the street classes and get a real kick seeing everything from stock Sportsters to slammed Hayabusa's battling it out in bracket style racing action. Amazingly enough, in 2008 when I last attended the winner was a bagger! Yep, a white Road King with hard bags beat the snot out of all those 'busas, Gixxers and such (remember this is bracket racing). He also put on an impressive show as this bike had enough torque and power to pull the front wheel of an 800 pound motorcycle off the ground...way off the ground! Don't believe me? Take a look at the photo gallery from that year
here. As much as I like the street classes it is the Top Fuel class that is truly impressive.
If you like bikes and have never heard one of these monsters in full roar...do it. Send men with erectile dysfunction to watch these things and you will find out they are either cured or as good as dead; no more Viagra needed either way! First of all anything on two wheels that can accelerate that fast and that hard is spectacular to see but what you really get is a full blown assault on all the senses. When a top fuel tire spins up it fills the air with the scent of rubber and smoke. But then there is the sound...sound feel as much as hear...sound that resonates in your bones. Ear protection be damned, you can feel the stands shake from it and even feel the ground shake if you are too close to the action. The word awesome is way over used these day but in the case of Top Fuelers it is perfectly appropriate.
The Bike Games:
I was rather disappointed that I missed the bike games this year. In general, biker games are a lot of fun but when good old Rowdy is in charge it is truly an event not to be missed. The traditional keg toss, slow ride and barrel roll are supplemented with events like "Honey I'm Home" where the competitor has to get out of bed, get boots on, go through a window and speed away down the course in the shortest time possible. It is amazing how quick some guys can do this! I typically take a picture of these guys so as to make sure they stay as far from my girls as possible. This year Rowdy came up with something called a Hippty Hop Race that was open only to the ladies...the devil on one shoulder wants to know more about this event but the good angel one the other is whispering that missing this event was a good thing. By the way, the same guy that won the street drags on that white bagger also won the slow race, barrel roll and Honey I'm Home events too.
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| Bobber from Outsiders Cycles |
The Bikes:
There are always some very cool bikes at this event and this year was no exception. While there was the usual assortment of chromed out trailer queens, the bikes that most interest me are typically a little less polished and a lot less perfect. One vendor in particular, Outsiders Cycles from La Porte, right here in Texas had a couple of really cool bikes. One was a nice little bobber with a springer front, rigid frame and a seat that looked like a leftover from the Spanish Inquisition. The second bike was a big twin of some sort also with a springer front end but with one of the coolest finishes I have ever seen. Instead of loads of shiny paint, the tins were sanded down to bare metal finish which was then textured with an angle grinder to create an awesome effect. A better photographer than I would do this far more justice but I tried.
I am not much of a trike enthusiast, but there were a few trikes that were worthy of mention. One was a really neat little Nightster conversion. The custom green over black denim paint really set this this trike apart. Yes, the trike pictured in the background does indeed have a stripper pole mounted on the converted truck bed. No, I did not take any pictures of it being used. Yes, I did (accidentally) see the owner's significant other using the pole. No, I don't think I will ever get the image out of my head and my eyes still burn with the memory.
This trike was built out of a Ford truck frankensteined to a Fat Boy front end. It is amazing what some people can accomplish this a little time, some creativity and a lot of beer. I doo like it though!
As anyone who has seen my bike can attest, I am not a big fan of chrome and gloss but I am definitely a big fan of Sportsters and this one is really nice and no trailer queen. The owner rode it to the event and has put quite a few miles on it since he has owned it.
Over all though, this was my favorite bike of the day. I am not sure if this is a bobbed chopper or a chopped bobber but I know I like it...
...and the leather work on the seat was a nice touch along with the 13-ball suicide shifter.
The crowd around this bike made pictures tough so I wandered off with a plan to return a bit later and get some better shots but I went back the bike was gone. This one was in in its place. This parking spot must be situated on some sort of sacred ground to have had two such cool bikes parked there.
The Girls:
Just to address Jack Riepe's comments about the bland nature of my last post I made sure to take a few shots just for him including this one of a nicely dark Dyna with the guy's "old lady" perched on top.
And just to make sure that he received his sexist fill of the female form, here is a shot of the bikini bike wash girl drying off (one of the bikes).
The Violence:
Last but not least, I wanted to make sure I was able to include the threat of violence for old man Riepe. What could be better to add a bit of danger than to take a picture of the Bandidos presence at the event. I didn't ask permission before taking the shot and given this group's reputation I fully expected to be chased down and my camera (or arms) broken.
When they didn't I wandered in for a closer look and wandered away with a "Support Your Local Bandidos" koozie. I even used it to keep my beverages cold while I was at the rally but once I got home I gave it to Moose. Not too many folks would be willing to mess with Moose so he is probably pretty safe with it...in his garage.
So, this event and write up had everything His Royal Bloggerness wanted; edginess, the threat of violence, sex...and just a little snarkyness to keep me happy.
The TMNR was really a blast and if you get a chance to attend do so.
Hang in there...
-Buddha
